A year ago today I first saw a picture of the little girl we knew then as ‘Grace’ while I was reading random blogs. I was just trying to relax after a long day. I didn’t intend to read anything challenging and I certainly didn’t intend to change our lives. God intended for both of those things to happen that day. As I thought about the past year I’ll admit my mind first wandered to all the hard things we’ve been through. It’s been a very long winter trapped inside with 4 little kids, we’ve made it through months of a child screaming all night and going through up to 29 diapers during the day, months of medical appointments and new diagnoses, months of wanting to respond to the stress in a loving, Godly manner and failing, nights spent asking God why He thought we could ever do this and days spent remembering the kids we had to leave behind. It’s been a long year.

But it’s also been a year in which we’ve seen God move in ways we’ve never experienced before. He’s provided around $23,000 in a few short months, brought people around us (some of whom we don’t even know) who pray for our family on a daily basis, brought Leeza home in better shape than anyone dreamed she could be in,  gave us almost immediate access to a surgeon who usually takes at least a year to get in to, preserved a spunky spirit in Leeza that amazes each therapist she works with and has brought at least 16 different families around us who have significantly invested in our family and made this year possible. He has shown me sin in my own heart that I thought I had dealt with and has been faithful to refuse to let it stay. He has used Leeza’s struggles to open Josiah’s eyes up to more of how He works. And maybe most importantly, He’s shown us that He’s faithful to stay with us when it just feels like this is too much.

Some families seem to sail through the adjustment after an adoption with grace and peace…that hasn’t really happened for us. It’s gone smoother than it could have, but it’s still been the hardest thing we’ve ever chosen to do. We are still very much in the middle of this process. We’re still learning to love this child as a daughter, learning to let go of some of the expectations we had for our family and how to grow new ones, learning how to be ok with whatever diagnosis gets thrown at us and whatever that means to our daily comfort and time. It’s not a fun process many times, but it is a good one. And through the process we both have the feeling that God is just preparing us for something else. Right now neither of us knows what that is and, frankly, when I try to figure it out the possibilities scare me and I have to trust that God knows what He’s doing and that He’s leading us somewhere that will glorify Him. In the meantime we will celebrate that we are one year into this journey and we have a lot to be grateful for. Thank you!

Bookmark and Share

Other Posts on this Subject: