Image By: Al- Fassam

I’ve realized since this adoption started that we now see the world slightly differently. Everything is the same, and yet it’s all a little a different, sort of like we’re looking at the world through a new lens. I think it started with the money. When we agreed that we were going to pursue Grace the sticker shock was huge. Amusingly enough ours is considered a ‘cheap’ adoption, but it’s still a large amount of money for us and I began to notice that when someone would talk about buying a new car the first thing that would go through my mind was, ‘That amount of money would save a child.’ When I’d hear people talking about vacations and hobbies it would happen again. Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with cars, vacations or hobbies (I happen to enjoy all 3)…and yet it made me start to wonder where they fit in and how God saw it.

As we’ve continued down this road another lens has shown up. We know virtually nothing about Grace’s life, but my mind wanders and I try to image what she’s doing each day. When I feed our children breakfast I wonder if she’s getting enough to eat. When our kids are sick or wake up scared I wonder how she’s treated when that happens. When ‘little Gracie’ asks me to read her a book I wonder if anyone is reading to ‘big Gracie’ today. I’m planning ‘little Grace’s’ birthday right now and realized that in all likelihood ‘big Grace’ has probably never had anyone celebrate her birthday. What will she think the first time she wakes up to a room full of balloons and a cake? What will it be like for her to have possessions of her own? Will it be overwhelming? Will it be comforting? I wonder if anyone has ever told her about Jesus. What will she think of church? I wonder if anyone is getting down on the floor and playing with her today. I wonder how the orphanage workers manage to have patience with so many children with so many needs and I desperately hope they are patient. In the end I realize there’s nothing I can do but continue to pray that she’s ok and that we can bring her home soon. And it motivates me to go and treat the children I have in my house with the love I hope she’s receiving today.

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